Ok, Here we go.
I am so bored.
And it's Halloween, this should be illegal.
I'm in one of those moods where I feel crappy and alone. And the only person I want to see is hours away at home. 
I usually don't get bothered by being alone, but now that I'm here at school and my friends are so far away, it bothers me. I'm home every night doing nothing. I have friends here, but I don't know how to explain it. I just don't see them outside of classes. And a few people that talk to me seem fake, like, they talk to me like they are a salesperson. Laugh too much at things I say. There's a difference between being a friend, and just being friendly.
So yes, I had a baby meltdown today in the privacy of my own room. I know I shouldn't be dwelling on this, but it is something that bothers me a lot. I didn't know I would be so alone when I moved away to school. I am thankful I chose a college that I can come home on the weekends if I want. I am however, making myself stay here this weekend.

Anyway, today is Halloween. And as previously stated, I am doing nothing. No candy passing out (since I live on a school campus, lack of children), no dressing up, no parties. And I  didn't get to carve a pumpkin, watch a scary movie, or go to a haunted house this whole season, which makes me extremely sad. I think I may watch Walking Dead tomorrow.







Here comes the part where I get to rant:
So, today I had an argument with Tyler. See, we've been dating for like 3 years right? Well, he wants to put a ring on it. One that means something. Ahem, he wants to get engaged. Now, I'm not what I would call ready for that. I certainly don't want to be married until I'm at least 21. I do however believe this is the kid I will end up with. Long story short I told him that when he thinks he needs to propose, I would agree to an engagement under 3 guidelines. 1. has to get a ring, duh. 2. Has to find a sweet way to propose. And 3, has to ask my father's permission. Both of us want to wait until we are both 21 to actually get hitched, so it'll just be a long engagement. Anyway, The first two rules he has no problem with, easy peasy. But he is scared shitless to ask my dad. It's not that he is scared of my dad, but he is scared of what would happen if he said no. Like, the relationship between him and my dad would be weird. I even told him, I want him to ask my dad, but regardless, I am probably gonna do what I want in the long run. As my dad says "You've gotta make decisions for your self and your mom and I know that. It doesn't mean we have to like them".
So, yes, I would love for my dad to say yes, of course. I just know Tyler doesn't want to disappoint them either, and just wants him to say yes so we won't have to worry about it..
But I have decided to leave it up to God, and his will be done. I am in no rush to get engaged, but I am not exactly opposed to it either. I just want my end of the "deal" to be held up, ya know? It shouldn't really be something a man should be told to do, which bothers me a bit.

But anyway, I figure I need to post this since it is no longer Halloween. Which means it is No Shave November, yay Beards!

I'll post a post with photos soon, this shall suffice for now..